Bitches and hos, hos and bitches.
A happy man is a man that itches.

-Benjamin "Yo Mama's Big Ass" Franklin-Stein

I have to be getting down with the pooping.

It's hot going down

The other day, a coworker willingly swallowed all of my thick, creamy sauce.

Ridiculous

Thanks

I'm cranky and I'm gonna kick all your asses

I'm you looking at YOU. Yes, YOU.

Something strange is going on and I think I like it.

I'm gonna be the preznitch, bitch!

Dear Senator Obama,

Next time, whip out a giant sqeaky hammer, and whap her over the head with it.

Sincerely,

Z

Posted from moBlog – mobile blogging tool for Windows Mobile

eye spy with my little eye

The web is but a lens on the world.

Posted from moBlog – mobile blogging tool for Windows Mobile

Don't De-Rock Me!

Oh Tesla, how you make my shit wiggle. *fans self*

Love. It's what's for dinner.

Know what I'm doing for valentines day? I'm gatherin up my bestest girl and taking her out in the woods where I've prepared a semi-hollowed out black bear in a giant satin nightgown. We're gonna take off our clothes, crawl inside and flip the carcass over so we're trapped in the hollows. Then, we're gonna wriggle and writhe all naked and wet and slowly gnaw our way out of that mother. Nothing says I love you like gnawing your way out of a bear. Nothing.