Last update about yesterday. Promise. Poorly written novella ahead

Now that the sedatives are completely out of my system, I can think a little more clearly and give an update about yesterday. My brother Adam came with me and spent the day helping me get a clear picture of what was going on.

I went in expecting just a bronchoscopy. Everyone else was expecting surgery. The problem? I had never given any consent to surgery. I thought this had been made clear in my communications with the surgeon. So I made it very clear: no surgery today, and they said, "yes! No surgery!" And I felt better.

The bronchoscopy went exceedingly well. I was initially told that I would be given general anesthesia, but as it turned out, I only had a strong sedative (they said it was a strong hypnotic and that I would have no memory of the procedure - they don't know me very well!) and a lidocaine inhalation. If you ever have to inhale lidocaine, be warned that it is NASTY, even if you are all hopped up on smiley drugs.

They wheeled me into the procedure room - the walls were covered with giant HD displays (sproing!) and I immediately asked if I could watch the procedure. "Really?" "Yes!" I was so excited! So, I went through the lidocaine inhalation (ew) and they slipped the camera down my throat (pink and slimy, all the way down!) . It was like a Disney ride! I saw my vocal cords! And throat slime! It was SO COOL! IT'S A SEREEZ UV TOOBZ!

Then I saw the trachea and the compressed area. It was scary how small the opening was, but still ping and slimy (which is GOOD, as it means my thyroid hasn't invaded my trachea which means no tracheal reconstruction is necessary..phew!)

During the procedure, I'm fighting off mild panic; the lidocaine had my airway, including my lungs, completely numb, so I couldn't feel myself breathe or swallow. This is disconcerting. I put my hand on my chest to feel my breathing for reassurance. I was a little disappointed, though; I was having a mild zombie fantasy...Mmm, brains, indeed.

They removed the camera and I immediately started chattering on about what an awesome experience it was, but if you've ever been numbed teeth to toes like that, you know it comes out as "Glluuuurgaaahaha! Fufffffufufufufuuf!!". They told me to just relax and let everything wear off. I started getting really bouncy, then really tired, then really bouncy and tired, then just tired.

They told me to report to Pre-Op to speak with the surgeon. I was feeling a bit paranoid from the drugs; I thought that someone was going to grab me and make me have surgery. Adam and I get there, and I was on the surgery list. I made it very clear that the surgery was canceled. My surgeon was in removing someone else's thyroid, so they told us to come back later, so we went for lunch.
An hour later, we come back, and as it turns out, they had been looking for us. They sent us up to Pre-Op. We get there, and the nurse (who was all pissed off) sends us into the surgical prep room and assigns me a bed. I make it very clear - there is no surgery planned today! She tells us to wait. Another nurse comes up and we have to make it clear again - NO SURGERY TODAY! Somehow, word never spread.

The surgeon finished with his last patient and comes in. He was expecting the surgery, too, but is completely understanding - this has all been rushed, and none of my concerns have been addressed. There had been a HUGE miscommunication starting with the ENT who ordered the CT scan and said "OMG, HE CAN'T BREATHE!" without talking to me. The surgeon said he would have never ordered the MRI I had on Saturday if he had known about last Thursday's CT scan.
Either way, the thyroid needs to come out. Fairly soon.
The Surgeon came up to me and kicked my tires, so to speak. He checked the swelling in my neck and said , "oh, that's not so bad, I've seen much worse. Here's what I'll do: (using his index finger as a scalpel), I'll slice you here and here (slices my neck), get the thyroid out, close you up and you'll be able to breathe better than ever." The risks are bleeding, blood calcium issues and permanent hoarseness. He also says that the possibility of having to go through my chest is so minuscule that I shouldn't worry about it. I feel pretty confident with him.

So, tomorrow, I have to call his office and schedule the surgery. I feel much better about all of this. It's still weird to know that I'm going to be losing an organ and on meds the rest of my life, but I'll get awesome breathing in exchange, and I've never had that before.

But today, I get a medical reprieve; it's my birthday, dammit, and I'm going to enjoy it!